Preventing Power Struggles

From: Scholastic Pre-K Today Tips

A young child with a strong will can often try an adult's patience. Here are some strategies for setting realistic limits to avoid many of the struggles that can try your patience and test your self-control.

  1. Stick to a few essential rules. A young child will more easily remember just tow or three key rules. Explain them in smiple terms that your preschooler understands. Review the rules from time to time, and not just when a rule is broken.

  2. Be firm and consistent when safety is the issue. Let a two-year-old know that he or she must never run into the street. Raise your voice with a resounding "No!" while gesturing with your finger when a 13-month-old pulls on the lamp cord.

  3. Childproof your house. Don't expect a toddler of young perschooler to resist that special vase on the coffee table. Avoid problems by keeping breakable items or keepsakes out of your child's reach. Befor you know it, your child will be old enough to know what not to touch.

  4. When you have somewhere important to go, allow extra time. Remember that a young child needs time to wind up one activity and get ready for the next. Give your child two warnings before stoing an emgrossing activity.

  5. Avoid situations that have created trouble in the past. Don't wear your best blouse when bathing your shild if you know that he or she likes to splash a lot. Preventing problmes is the best way to prevent anger and tears, too.

  6. Threats or promises you aren't likely to keep won't help your credibility. Telling a three-year-old, "If you don't wear your sweater, you can't play outdoors all week," will backfire when it's timefor this weekend's family picnic.

  7. Let your chile win now and then. When your four-year-old presents his or her case, you may decide it's okay to have "just one" of the animal crackers in the supermarket basket. When you let your child win these kinds of small victories, it can be easier to get him or her to follow more important rules you've set.

  8. Apologize to your child if an angry outburst by you was unwarranted. But don't be concerned if you occasionally express your anger in words. It's better than harboring strong feelings inside and then exploding later.

What should you do if you start to feel out of control?

  1. Give yourself an adult "time out." Infants or young children can be put in their beds or another safe place while you spend five minutes having coffee, calling an understanding relative or friend, or just taking a deep breath and collecting yourself.

  2. Take a moment to consider whether the issue is really worth the stuggle. Keep in mind that eating a cookie before lunch, under most circumstances, does not deserve the same response as running into the street.

  3. Ask yourself why you are so angry. Does your range match the misbehaior, or is something else distressing you? Is it your shild or someone else who has disappointed you?

  4. Think about possible reasons for your child's unusually irritating behavior. Is he or she overtiered or overstimulated after a day a the park? Is he or she getting sick? Editor's Note: If you feel you need help dealing with anger, call the National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse hot line at 800.422.4453.